Artificial intelligence has the same relation to intelligence as artificial flowers have to flowers. -- David Parnas Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. -- Sinclair Lewis Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. -- Frederick Crane If porn should be banned for creating unhealthy relationship expectations in young boys, we must ban shitty romance novels for girls too. -- Sithlord Sabrina Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument. --mjwx on /. The human race is unable to do science beyond a certain complexity level of the object studied. Instead it devolves into mysticism and fantasy. The complexity level where that happens is not very high. Some people can do better, but they get ignored. --me The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widely spread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible. -- Bertrand Russell Megalomaniac fuck-ups never realize that they are the problem. -- me Whenever an obviously well founded statement is made... by a person specially well acquainted with the facts, that unlucky person is instantly and frantically contradicted by all the people who obviously know nothing about it. -- George Bernard Shaw When anyone says "theoretically", they really mean "not really." -- David Parnas A paragraph in a book doesn't give you a license to stop thinking. -- The number one rule of education How, do you ensure underlings are loyal? One answer is to promote incompetents. -- Machiavelli If you promote people who deserve it, they will never be grateful -- Machiavelli Better tools and languages just allow bad programmers to create more bad code. --MichaelSmith on /. There's a kleptomaniac in every RPG player. -- Fadeway "'A matter of internal security.' - the age-old cry of the oppressor." Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Stardate 43489.2 The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. -- Winston Churchill I personally call the type of government which can be removed without violence ''democracy'', and the other, ''tyranny''. --Karl Popper Generally speaking, men are creatures of the extremes while women are creatures of the mean. --Maggie McNeill In fact, "atheism" is a term that should not even exist. No one ever needs to identify himself as a "non-astrologer" or a "non-alchemist." We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs. --Sam Harris A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers. - Plato There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. --Tony Hoare Science advances one funeral at a time -- Max Planck "They want a fucking big red arrow that points to the answer" -- found on /. Being a slave is psychologically safer than personal responsibility and self-reliance. For the vast bulk of humanity of both genders, doing what one is told is easy, but thinking for oneself is difficult. --Maggie McNeill The only right way to deal with money is to get enough to live in reasonable comfort and otherwise ignore it. It is not important. -- me on /. "Statistics are on average not very useful." "Each message is guaranteed to be delivered zero or more times." -- Pat Helland in CACM on communication in distributed systems "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -- Frank Herbert, Dune The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. -- H.L. Mencken In war you will generally find that the enemy has at any time three courses of action open to him. Of those three, he will invariably choose the fourth. -- Helmuth Von Moltke Q: Why are manhole covers usually round? A: Because the manholes are round. They wouldn't fit otherwise. "Some people mistake opportunity for permission." -- Asher Turnaround "Students are the only major consumer group that wants less for their money." -- undergraduate CS lecturer before walking out of his device-distracted class Ultimately, this sounds more like the start of a pissing match between Apple and MS over who can force their customers to put up with the stupidest stuff. -- hedwards (940851) on /. in discussion of the win8 explorer ribbon interface A quantum computer will reduce the complexity of an attack by a factor of a square root. So it will effectively halve the keyspace; that's all. -- Posted by: Bruce Schneier at August 18, 2011 8:34 AM If you notice that a person is deceiving you, they must not be deceiving you very well. -- Quote on /. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made from... -- camperdave on /. Every day I do a proof I have not done before is a good day. Even if it is a simple one. -me Being both tedious and stupid, Twitter is the perfect communications medium for the modern corporation. -- frank_adrian314159 on /. You can use a score to measure something, only if the score is not used for any side purpose related to financial gain. -- tobias d. robison on Schneier's Blog WoW-speak: wtf = way to fight: Der Heiler erfreut sich ueber die vorausschauende und angenehme Spielweise afk = attack, fight, kill: Dazu gibts nichts zu sagen. Das ultimative Angriffssignal. ;) Functionality is an asset, but code is a liability. "Computers are a lot like Air Conditioners" "They both work great until you start opening Windows" -- gearloos on /. Powerpoint doesn't help with design. It does help add clutter, however. -- calyphus on /. "The biggest enemy of freedom are happy slaves." --Simon Phipps /"\ \ / ASCII RIBBON CAMPAIGN X AGAINST HTML MAIL / \ Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it. -- Charlie Brooker If Microsoft had been put in charge of marketing sex, the human race would have ended long ago, because no one would be caught dead doing something that uncool. -- Washington Post reader on Windows 7 launch party video We have a pathological news media who have discovered that by terrifying people they can sell more copies. -- Charles Stross Religious fundamentalism boils down very largely to one thing: certainty in life. -- Charles Stross XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute talk with the average voter. -- attributed to Winston Churchill If it's in the news, don't worry about it. The very definition of "news" is "something that hardly ever happens." -- Bruce Schneier Electrical Technicians Corollary Number One: Electronics runs on smoke. Once the smoke is removed from them, they will no longer function properly 'Yes, firefox is indeed greater than women. Can women block pops up for you? No. Can Firefox show you naked women? Yes.' - Found on Slashdot There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists. -- Yosemite park ranger on bear-proof trashcans My god carries a hammer. Yous died nailed to a tree. Any questions? Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination. Bubble Memory, n.: A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's intelligence. See also "vacuum tube". Windows is the "under-3" toy of the OS world. -- Matthew D. Fuller Running Linux is like owning a Lightsaber. It's "a more elegant weapon for a more civilized time." Someone who considers himself too important for small jobs is often too small for important jobs -- Jaques Tati Freedom with weaknesses is always to be preferred over well-defined rules with weaknesses. Someone stole my last sig.. now i have this crappy one instead :-\ Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivilous sig! Cogito, ergo sig "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." - Brian W. Kernighan Windows comes from a box. Linux comes from a community -- unknowen Cuddly UI's are the manifestation of wishful thinking -- Dylan Evans Press SPACEBAR once to quit or twice to save changes PowerPoint Makes You Dumb -- New York Times headline, Dec. 14th, 2003 M-x rot13-other-window :-) gets(userEntry); if (memcmp(userEntry, correctPassword, strlen(userEntry)) != 0) return (BAD_PASSWORD); Nominated as least secure pice of code by Paul. C. Kocher. Hardware hurts when you drop it on your foot. Software hurts when you look at it. It says "My Computer" because Bill thinks that putting his software on it makes it his. This explains a lot. "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't." When I first started working with sendmail, I was convinced that the cf file had been created by someone bashing their head on the keyboard. After a week, I realised this was, indeed, almost certainly the case. memcpy( &yourFace , &myFoot, sizoef( myFoot ) ); Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control. "There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people" -- Howard Zinn My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. -- Ashleigh Brilliant One mathematician I know told me that the most important lesson he learned was how to read a math book. It did no good, he said, to just start plowing through the theorems because that brought confusion. The key was to skim the book five or six times to get an idea of what the writer was trying to do. Then, and only then, was it possible to figure out the equations. Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca Last week, I left my 2 XP CDs on my dashboard in plain view. Someone broke into my car and left 2 more. -- Found on ./ "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one " -Albert Einstein The difference between theory and reality is that in theory there is no difference but in reality there is. Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. - Aaron Levenstein Numers are like people. Torture them enough and they will tell you everything -- Found on /. "The best part of banging your head against a wall is when you stop. Its the same with windows." Cult: (n) a small, unpopular religion. Religion: (n) a large, popular cult. Only users loose drugs. 'Usenet posters are not like most people.' -Ken from Chicago Turing test - tell the computer to simulate Alan Turing, then ask him if he's "just a simulation". A "Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer" is to computing what a McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to fine cuisine. "Thou shalt not follow the NULL pointer for chaos and madness await thee at its end." "NOTE: The is not a visible character." - Microsoft Knowledge Base A friend will help you move. A real friend will help you move a body. Vampireware; n, a project capable of sucking the lifeblood out of anyone unfortunate enough to be assigned to it which never actually sees the light of day, but nonetheless refuses to die. "Computers are useless, they can only give you answers." -- Picasso "That's what's cool about working with computers. They don't argue, they remember everything, and they don't drink all your beer." -- Paul Leary -------- This space intentionally left blank -------- "A distributed system is one in which I cannot get something done because a machine I've never heard of is down." --Leslie Lamport "A mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open" "An operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective." -- Sun Tsu, The Art of War "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." -- Weisert "At the beginning of the week, we sealed ten BSD programmers into a computer room with a single distribution of BSD Unix. Upon opening the room after seven days, we found all ten programmers dead, clutching each others' throats, and thirteen new flavors of BSD." "Don't take the name of root in vain." -- found in /usr/src/linux/README "Eat right, exercise daily, die anyway." "God is dead" -- Nietzche "Nietzche is dead" -- God WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary, whose name and/or species you may not remember. "Hardly used" will not fetch you a better price for your brain. "I pronounce Windows "dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/hda". It saves time." --Leon Brooks "I shall explain this by waving my hands about in an appropriate manner." --Cambridge University Math Dept. "I would not mind you in my head, if you were not so completely mad" Lews Therin Telamon "If Windoze is the answer, can we please have the problem back?" "If you can keep your calm while all others panic, you probably don't understand the situation" "If you correct a wise man, you make a friend; if you correct a fool, you make an enemy." "In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt." -- Blair P. Houghton "It compiles, SHIP IT!" -Overheard at Microsoft's development lab "Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean that they're not out to get you." "Linux does not solve all the problems. But we are working on it." - Alan Cox "Mary had a crypto key, she kept it in escrow, and everything that Mary said, the Feds were sure to know." "My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity" Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence. - Napoleon (also Hanlon's razor) "One World, one Web, one Program" - Microsoft promotional ad "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein "Perl is the complete opposite of Eiffel ... I'm still trying to figure out if that's a good or bad thing." "Please don't call me a murderer. I prefer 'Quality Control Technician for the Human Race'." "Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it" -- Richard Feynman "Some men lead lives of quiet desperation. My desperation makes a pathetic whining sound." "Take life in big bites. Everything in excess. Moderation is for monks." Lazarus Long. "That's the wonderful thing about life. It never gets so bad that it can't get worse." "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws" -Tacitus "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." --Albert Einstein "The trick is to stop thinking it is _Your_ money." - IRS auditor "There's no need to impose the death penalty on stupidity. Just take all the warning labels off of everything, and let the problem take care of itself." -- Ryan Klippenstine, rasfwr-j "This software comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY. Even if it erases your hard drive, too bad. Although we did fix that bug from the last release." --README from a long-ago release of DJGPP "Those that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." --Ben Franklin "To know recursion, you must first know recursion." "Try to spend the next 30 seconds not thinking about a blue eyed polar bear." -Feodor Dostoevsky "What I saw in the Xerox PARC technology was the caveman interface, you point and you grunt. A massive winding down, regressing away from language, in order to address the technological nervousness of the user. Users wanted to be infantilized, to return to a pre-linguistic condition in the using of computers, and the Xerox PARC technology's primary advantage was that it allowed users to address computers in a pre-linguistic way. This was to my mind a terribly socially retrograde thing to do, and I have not changed my mind about that." Eben Moglen (http://old.law.columbia.edu for more by E.M.) "When all else fails, read the directions. They probably need proofreading anyway." "Which is worse: ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?" "You question the worthiness of my Code? I should kill you where you stand!" --Top ten reasons never to hire Klingon engineers "Your depression will be added to my own" -- Marvin of Borg "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!" "dot-age" (as in "we're in the dot-age") = senility (source Webster's) "never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups" "yeah, but, uh, how are we supposed to chmod chmod?" #include 'Trust the Internet, The Internet is your friend!' - 3 out of 2 have difficulties understanding statistics - -- the silly student / he writes really bad haiku / readers all go mad .sig under construction .sigless /* ---- No user-serviceable parts below ---- */ /* remember to insert clever sig here before the product ships */ 01234567 <- The amazing* indent-o-meter! ^ (*: Indent-o-meter may not actually amaze.) 0x29a....The Hexidecimal of the Beast 2 + 2 = 5, for sufficiently large values of 2. 668: The Neighbor of the Beast. A committee is an animal with six or more legs and no brain. - Robert A. Heinlein A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines - Frank Lloyd Wright A dumb hero is the perfect hero, because he hasn't the faintest idea of what's going on. - David Eddings A modern US Navy cruiser now requires 26 tons of manuals. This is enough to affect the vessel's performance. -- 'New Scientist' article on the paperless office -- -- David Mankins A musical about the Civil War is like a ballet about Leukemia Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. All errors in the above post were intentional. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. And it has a major disadvantage: No one to talk to during sex. (Oh my God ...) Black holes are where God divides by zero. Blessed are they who can laugh at themeselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Burn only 100% recycled dinosaurs in you car. Carl Zwanzig: "Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." Copyright v.i. What a good photocopier is supposed to do. Curiosity was framed; ignorance killed the cat. -- Author unknown DOA - dead on arrival (someone on ActiveX) Dictionary Attack n. Act of throwing the book at a security violator. Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are root, and merciless. Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's very, very good. And when it's bad, it's still better than nothing! Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Don't take life too seriously; it isn't permanent. Due to circumstances within our control, tomorrow will be cancelled. Every rule has an exception, except the rule of exceptions. Exploiting the sendmail-bug: echo "v nz gelvat gb unpx ebbg" | tr a-z n-za-m | /usr/lib/sendmail root Fight censors! (Yes, I do mean drag them into the street and hurt them.) Finally, as someone posted to the newsgroup last year: "The #1 reason Java programmers hate Eiffel: You have to think before you program" For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken For some reason the concept of sacrificing accuracy to increase efficiency seems inherently wrong. Fuck the system? Nah, you might catch something. GNU GPL: "The Source will be with you... always." GUI have their place, but within limits: a computer which has only a GUI without a command line interface and a decent scripting language is completely castrated. AC on /. Give a man fire and he will be warm for a day, Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life. God is real unless declared integer Google results 1-10 of about 65,400,000 for b. Search took 0.04 seconds. Hacker Tarot Cards 1.The FOOL: a manager using a Sunblade to run a screensaver. 2.The MAGICIAN: a hacker with a Mac, a Pentium box, a U10, and a Cray on the table in front of him --- all running the same program with the same GUI. An infinity sign is over his head. 3.The HIGH PRIESTESS: a woman holding the Documentation, closed and concealed. The crescent moon is showing on an SGI Origin behind her. 4.The EMPEROR: Steve Jobs sitting on a G4 running OSX, holding an optical disk vertically in his hand. 5.The EMPRESS: A secretary with a IMAC running OSX. 6.The HEIROPHANT: Bill Gates with two flunkies kneeling before him, their faces averted, offering him floppy disks. He wears a laptop computer on his head. 7.The LOVERS: a PowerMAC and an IBM Power PC exchanging software as an angel bathed in glory regards them. 8.The CHARIOT: A man in a chariot, hurtling up an exponential curve, drawn by the twin sphinxes of Technology (black) and Culture (white). 9.STRENGTH: A woman holding the entire design and implementation of Microsoft Excel in her mind as she corrects the final error. An infinity sign is over her head. 10.The HERMIT: An old hacker, white-bearded, burns the midnight oil; its Star-of-David flame illuminates his keyboard. 11.The WHEEL OF FORTUNE: A rotating wheel. Cray is on the side going down, despite its good technology; Smalltalk is opposite it, and C++ is sitting on top. Four winged beings -- a mouse, a turtle, a dog-cow, and a human -- look on. 12.JUSTICE. A cold-faced woman holds a calculator in one hand and a delete- key in the other. 13.The HANGED MAN: A programmer is tied by his ankle to a cable duct. His phase is completely shifted: he awakens at sunset, he sleeps at dawn. His monitor is reverse-video. He programs on, flawlessly, oblivious to his circumstances. 14.DEATH: A skeleton weilding a scythe surveys a field, on which are scattered Intel P4's, Cyrix's, IBM 360/91's, Xerox Alto's, and many other machines. 15.TEMPERANCE: An angel stands with one foot on her chair and one on the floor, as she copies files from one disk to another. A cursor blinks from her chest. 16.The DEVIL: The goat-headed Lord of the Pit stands on a pile of Windows manuals, holding an inverted torch in one hand. Two humans, male and female, are in chains at his feet. 17.The TOWER: An ivory tower is struck by a bolt of lightning. Two robed figures, denied tenure, are hurtled to the ground. 18.The STAR: A Mac is running its `warp' screen saver, in a transient fragile moment of peace. 19.The MOON: A wolf and a jackal are typing at two PC's. A crayfish crawls out of a pool, offering suggestions that may ultimately prove deadly. The moon shines through a window. 20.The SUN: A naked child riding a winged rocking horse programs clever applications on a high-quality workstation. 21.JUDGEMENT: An angel blows a trumpet; all over the net, web pages arise, to be rated Cool or not. 22.The WORLD: A woman dances on the clouds, unclothed, unencumbered, in a ring of clouds, a 3-d mouse in each hand. The four winged beings from the Wheel of Fortune surround her. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. -Jeff Pesis He who laughs last thinks slowest! Hi! I'm a .signature virus. Copy me into ~/.signature to help me spread! His eyes were cold and hard, which made them difficult to chew. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. I gave up and discarded my cold fusion research; I could never get the damn reaction to go below room temperature! I have discovered a truly remarkable proof which this margin is too small to contain. I intend to live forever, so far so good. I love cats. Do you? If so, let's exchange recipes. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. I'm a figment of my own imagination, I think therefor I'm not. I'm not a number - I'm a vector! I'm not surprised that there are unix clones. How else can unix reproduce? I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. -- Steven Wright ICMP: The protocol that goes PING! If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If at first you don't succeed, cheat. Cheat until caught, then lie. If it was said on slashdot, it MUST be true! If the tide is Microsoft, charge ahead and volt for resistance to the current! If this were really object-oriented, electrons and quarks would have the same interface as atoms and molecules" - Larry Wall If you are angry with someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes... then you'll be a mile away from them, and you'll have their shoes. If you're not on somebody's shit list, you're not doing anything worthwhile. In any sufficiently large group of people most are idiots. Insightful as in speech, or insightful as in beer? Intolerant people should be shot. It appears that /dev/null is a conforming XSL processor. It is not wise to meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup. It's easy, after all, not to be a writer. Most people aren't writers, and very little harm comes to them. -- Julian Barnes It's not paranoia if they're really after you. It's not the OS it's the user that sucks. If it's user friendly, you get stupider people. - clinko Its not that unix isn't user friendly, its just more picky about who its friends are. Just my $.02, refunds available upon request Klar, denn NT kann alles. Das liegt an den 32 Bit. (Wenn ich 32 Bit drin habe, denke ich auch, ich koennte alles) Known Ciphertext Attack n. Easier than Unknown Ciphertext Attack. Known Plaintext Attack n.: Faking the ability to break a cipher when one already knows the answer. Larry Wall won the obfuscated C contest. Twice. Kinda makes you think, eh? Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. --Stephen Wright Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts. Linux -- the Ultimate Windows Service Pack Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware. Lord Kano's Law-In every group of women there is at least one slut. In every group of men there is at least one moron. If you can't identify them, it's you. Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it. - Seymore Cray, on virtual memory. Microsoft is not the answer, Microsoft is the question. The answer is "no". Misanthropology, n.: The study of why so many people are so damn stupid. Mockery is a powerful tool in the hands of a fool. More sax and violins on TV! My dog ate my .sig My word processor was written by Stanford Professor Donald Knuth. Who wrote yours? Never apply a StarTrek solution to a Babylon 5 problem Never eat more than you can lift. - Lady Jack V. Of course it's normal that I've got my hand up your ass, you're a fscking muppet!!! Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend. PIN n. Security mechanism with applications to credit cards and hand grenades. People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it is safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. -Michael Sinz Provably Secure a. Can only be broken by cheating. Q: How do you recognize an extraverted software engineer? A: He looks at your shoes when he talks to you. Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 ! - Andrew Rutherford Remember, You are unique...just like everyone else. Secret-Sharing n. Oxymoron, like Live Recording. Security-wise, NT is a server with a 'Kick me' sign taped to it. - Peter Gutmann Self destruct. Do not push unless you really really mean it. Shawn Poulsen (Fruan)- That which does not kill me will most likely leave me horribly maimed SmashDot: what happens when the slash meets the dot. So, the manager turned to the engineer who designed the first modem and asked why he wanted to build two prototypes... Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist. - F. L. Bauer. Standard n. : Any one from large range of published specifications, giving a wide choice. Strong data typing is for those with weak minds. Sturgeon's Law: 90% of everything is crap. Addendum: Sturgeon was an optimist. System n.or a. Word appended to description to increase perceived importance. The Internet's sole purpose is to get porn and bomb making plans into the hands of children. The UNIX Guru's View of Sex: unzip ; strip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep The bad do bad because the bad is rewarded. The good do good because the good is rewarded. - B.F. Skinner The best way to accelerate a windows box is at 9.8 meters per second square. -- HydroCarbon10 on /. The brackets contain the world's first nanosig, highly magnified:[.] The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. The easiest way to get shot is to carry a gun -- Atticus Finch The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. The problem with keeping an open mind is that my ideas all tend to fall out.. The real unitron has Slashdot ID 5733, but doesn't rate an impostor. The three principle virtues of Perl programers: mundaneness, sloppiness, and fatuousness. There is no substitute for thinking" - Bjarne Stroustrup This comment has been ROT-26 encoded, any attempt to decode is subject to prosecution under DMCA. ;-) This is my signature. There are many like it but this one is mine. This message has been ROT-13 encrypted twice for higher security. This post uses only 100% recycled electrons. This signature set seems to have reduced my spam. Maybe if everyone does it we can defeat the email search bots. tosspam@aol.com abuse@aol.com abuse@yahoo.com abuse@hotmail.com abuse@msn.com abuse@sprint.com abuse@earthlink.com uce@ftc.gov Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do. Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can do neither grow up to be president. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. Tpyo? What Tpyo? -- Kea d'Albenas Updating a manual is like changing tires on a moving car. -- Edmond Weiss VI VI VI The editor of the beast. Warning: What I say is not necessarily what I mean. What is easy becomes What is done. What is done becomes Tradition Traditions become Obsessive Compulsive Disorders Obsessive Compulsive Disorders become Religions What's the difference between a stage magician and a psychologist? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats . . . When you mix Pasta and AntiPasto, would the resulting reaction produce a huge explosion? Why is it called "common sense" when nobody seems to have any? Work is for people who lack the imagination to play. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Writing is like prostitution: First you do it for the love of it, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money. -- F. Molnar Zero-Knowledge Proof n. : Rigorous demonstration that a rival is not just incompetent but ignorant. [1] Ways you can try to get yourself killfiled: [1a] USE ALL CAPS. [1b] Change your name to something like RandRulz666. [1c] Say things like "Elayne _obviously_ killed Asmodean". [1d] Don't snip sigs. [1e] Post in MIME, HTML, UUENCODE, or Braille. [1f] Change your ISP to Hotmail or WebTV. [1g] Crosspost to AFRJ. [1h] Unprovoked flames directed at Vets. [1i] Spam us. [1j] Yell at people for posting off topic. [1k] Flagrantly disregard the the FAQs. [1l] Insist everyone try your 'kewl' new program, HAPPY**.exe. [1m] Include files with your post. [1n] Mispel evry wurd n yor postes. in china, chinese food is just called food. load "linux",8,1 perl -e 'fork||print for split//,"hahahaha"' rebooting should _not_ be the answer there are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots while( ) { s/$badcode/$goodcode/g; } # still debugging this one